Nikki, submissive, Palm Beach, kinky lolita, Las Vegas, Film noir, Comic Books, Lichtenstein, guns and other weaponry, military history (primarily of the opium wars and WWII), Christoph Waltz (my bby), Tarantino, John Alton, Hitchcock,DC Comics, Doctor Who, vegetarian, film student, future director, screenwriter and cinematographer. Practices BDSM. Short, sweet, horny and pretentious
Having these four days off, being in Palm Beach Island with Andrew is simply everything I could have ever dreamed of.
Being at his condo, over looking the intracoastal. Fucking on the boucany. Having him drag me inside, throw me around.
The room is bright, white, I see the Atlantic Ocean out the window, sun beams, hands around my throat, and words that make me dizzy.
We fuck, we cuddle, we sleep, we sing; and never does he let me go.
With him is where I belong.
So Andrew took some cold medicine and he reacted to one of the side effects which is kicking while in deep sleep.
Needless to say my thighs are covered and bruises.
But I didn’t want to leave his side.
Today had an extremely sobering moment
I was prescribed an additional med
And it’s a controlled substance so I had to have a hard copy paper explaining why I need it and my filed history
Then I saw it
And next to it
Bipolar I (Manic Depressive)
I knew for years, I’ve been taking the meds, I’ve been hospitalized. But never was I even told by an official by word. Just given the treatment and the meds.
But to see it, on print, 12 point courier, on paper.
It kills me
I’m fucked up
I can’t handle myself
I’m reliant on these compounds so I can live
And still I’m not happy
Or in any way functional